The winds became stronger and the kids really enjoyed themselves. Ah, just like a trip to Yosemite --- I would say to them, comforting them as only a mother can in the heart of Africa. It’s nothing, kids, don’t you mind anything at all . . . we’re just having a family-fun-vacation (dad-style.)

       By the next trip, we had little Kat with us and, as you can see, I willingly got on the boat all by myself this time (the first trip --- Brian had to hoist me over his shoulder, kicking and screaming, and carry me in. I suppose some people might consider that to be romantic. I’m not sure I have any interest in ever meeting those ‘some-people.’) It wasn’t.

              But as the title of this blog so boldly proclaims . . . eventually GOD catches up with all of us and the truth of His BLESSED ASSURANCE reigns in our hearts, if only momentarily --- but at least it does. The top photo was taken on my last trip to Lake Baringo. That was in December of 2003. And by then, I had learned to accept the fact that I was where God

wanted me to be whether or not I cared to be there at all. I had His peace then. In fact, that period of my life was one of the most closest times that I ever felt to God. Incredible closeness and communion.

     But then something happened in early 2004 that was traumatic to me. I don’t talk about the details because details are private and personal. But it was traumatic. I went through all the normal post-traumatic (is it okay to call them “normal?”) symptoms. Suicidal-tendencies. Hopelessness. Loss of feeling in my hands and feet. Loss of memory. I learned compassion for others at that time. I learned why some people can seem so weird. Because you really do become weird when something traumatic seized onto your psyche. At least while you’re healing.

I was angry at God because I felt like He had abandoned me at a time in my life when I was the closest to Him. When I had finally, finally relented and jumped in full fledged into His work --- His will. And then ---- boom.

      Anyhow, trauma heals. Like one of my favorite songs from Kirk Franklin says, “After awhile. After awhile. It won’t hurt you, after awhile.”

 

            But I was still in the midst of healing in 2006 when God told us to head back to Kenya.

And since it had happened there --- I found myself in America facing periods of unexpected hyperventilating whenever I would see something having to do with Africa. Of course when personal things happen, you don’t just go tell everyone. Our mission knew. I was going to a professional counselor. We were taking all the right precautions. But most everyone else thought --- wow, I should be thrilled to get back to Africa. I tried to garner that enthusiasm but I kept finding myself feeling as if I would suddenly pass out simply because CNN would run a news brief on any African country. That’s how sensitive the triggers were. How would I ever fly back there, I wondered? I’ll simply faint as soon as I step off of the plane. I was concerned and so I asked God time and again for confirmation from Him. And God is a kind, kind God. He gave it over and over and over. And over again.

In fact, He gave me so much confirmation that this was His will, that I had gotten to the point where I couldn’t deny it any longer. I knew I had to return. And the time was fast approaching.

   It was July, 2006 --- exactly two years ago this very week.

   It was our last Sunday at church, my beloved church that encourages me so much in faith.

I had written our worship minister the week before and told him that we were heading back to Kenya and that I knew that he had a lot of things to include in a service and he certainly didn’t have to do what I asked of him but . . . would he, consider . . . possibly including my favorite song, “Blessed Assurance” in the service before we left? I would be truly grateful, I told him, if he could.

         And he did, bless his heart. How God uses the Body of Christ amazes and touches me.

 

     I sang that song relishing each word as a hope that I clung to that if I did go back to Africa, God would strengthen me so much that I wouldn’t have these triggers anymore.

 

      And you know what? He did just that.

         He honored the faith of a frightened, frightened girl.

             Upon landing, He filled me with so much peace. I dare say that I never once experienced a panic-trigger in Africa at all in the last two years that we’ve been there. Praise God!

         But He did more than that. And this is one of those times when He is so tenderly amazing.

 

    We were down in the middle of nowhere, Maasailand, at the foot of Kilimanjaro. I’ve put up some photos from that region.

We had gone down to help with a short-term team and their work at the Imbirikani Girls School. The trip went great. We showed the Jesus Film a few times and, as the resident missionaries, we were pretty much responsible for setting up and taking down the equipment . . . meaning late nights out in the bush. Everyone else had gone home. It was just Brian and I and our four kids . . . and hundreds of Maasai. Oh yes, and Stephen.

    Stephen had been hired to help with the driving and other things that the team needed during the week. What a joy he was to all of us. We’ve kept up with each other since then as he’s a fun man. But this was our first experience with Stephen and on our one hour drive home on dusty, dirt roads with no lights and the occasional giraffe or group of zebra . . . or even a group of gerenuk (true --- we saw a group that night!), Stephen made us all laugh so hard. He was joking --- acting ---- pretending ---- swerving ----- all sorts of things. He had a knack for it, too, and we were about to burst a seam with laughter. The inside of our car never got quiet for even a moment of the drive as he had us all going for so long.

       But there at the end of such a wonderful, fun drive home nearing midnight in Maasailand, Stephen said, “And now . . .for some traditional hymns.” And he broke into song.

 

     I kid you not - we had only been back in the country one week. I had just sung “Blessed Assurance,” at my request, at our church the week before - and Stephen burst out into singing every single stanza of “Blessed Assurance.”

 

             Tears filled my eyes.

               Only God speaks so clearly.

                  No need to put a request in here, Heather, He said. I’m as close to you here as I was there. You can be assured of that. You are exactly where I want you to be. And there is no better place in the world to be than in the place where I want you.

                Now live in that blessed assurance!

stephen, and kat